Big Bullies and Little Victims

by Theresea

Bullies often get pleasure in teasing, fighting, and generally dominating others, forming a bully-victim relationship.

Bullies as well as the victim may not be aware of the unconscious magnet drawn to one another.

This scene is all so familiar to parents, teachers and school yards all over the world, and is not all that different to the animal world, where the fit and strong are the boss and the rest are ruled.

The Bully May Be Quite Aggressive:

 Often involving teasing or hurting other children physically.

 Shows a lot of angry behavior or displaying a temper.

 Challenging all adults.

The Victim Is Normally Quiet, Self-Conscious, Timid Or Just Being Unable To Fit In:

• Finds it difficult to make friends or join in with others.

• Often picked on being teased by other children.

• May show weakness to defend or be easily upset.

If You Get The Feeling Your Child May Be A Bully:

Have your child learn respect and consideration toward others peoples rights-don’t just expect your child to have knowledge of this.

Constantly reminding your child of how others will feel, also have him understand how important it is not to things to people making them feel bad.

Have your child memorize this saying, “Don’t do to others that you wouldn’t like have done to yourself.”

Make firm rules.
That any nasty, mean or unkind remarks will not be tolerated. Enforcing these rules to be respected at all times.

Teach your child to communicate, to discuss what it is that he wants instead of using the forceful approach on others.

Start taking notes on the degree of bullying, this will help understand what is causing the stress that triggers his actions.

Set good examples in the family home. Don’t use bullying tactics yourself to have your child do what you want.

Most importantly, Praise- making sure you present positive and rewarding remarks for your child’s good or willing behavior. This will help him realize the benefits in his efforts.

If You Think Your Child May Be A Victim Of Bullying:

Explain to your child that bullies are usually troubled children who may be upset or unhappy- may be with something happening at home.

Tell your child not to feel responsible for the bullies’ behavior, and that it isn’t your child’s fault. Letting your child also know there is no excuse for this harmful treatment.

Teach your child to turn the tables on the bully- suggestions, show little to no reaction to teasing- by not letting on it is bothering you. Simply but firmly say, “I don’t like what you are saying,” and walk away.

Reassure your child there is no weakness in leaving the situation, to keep away from the bully.

Spare time to listen and talk about your child’s concerns as well as his days events. Taking note that if the situation seems to be getting worse, you now need to step in and take this matter in your own hands.

Build self-esteem
. Suggesting activities your child can be good at, examples- writing, reading, sport, setting the dinner table, helping you with jobs around the home, there are many ideas that your child can do with confidence while also achieving self –esteem.

Remember to praise even small achievements-for they are just as rewarding, especially for acts of courage.

Don’t smother your child; it may affect his ability to protect himself in the future.

A very common question asked….

Is your child dominated at home by other siblings, for example? If so, may be he is used to being treated like a door mat.

What Actions Confirm Bulling?….


Being Called Names,

Sarcastic Remarks,

Continually Being Put-Down.



Lashing Out At Others,


Harmful Acts.


Deliberately Excluding From A Group,

Spreading Malicious Stories.


Demands To Get What Is Wanted.

Find more parenting articles about Child Behaviour Problems & how to Discipline a child using Positive Parenting styles at Toddlers activity & child discipline Free positive parenting resources

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